The Roles of
Men and Women
What are the Biblical Roles of Men and Women?
Men are to lead, provide, and protect.
Women are to care for:
husbands, children, and homes.
On the sixth day of creation, God made man and put him in Eden. God gave Adam three responsibilities before the woman was even formed.
1. work the garden
2. name all the animals
3. do not eat from the forbidden tree (which
was an act of worship through obedience)
God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
God then made Adam a helper or "helpmeet" from Adam's rib.
Later, Satan came to this helpmeet in the form of a serpent to tempt her into sinning. She ate and gave some of the fruit to her husband who was with her, and he ate.
It was here that she took on the leadership role (the decision maker) while he took on the passive (or submissive) role.
So, God punished Adam for listening to his wife and cursed the ground with thorns and thistles, making it painful and difficult for him to provide for his family.
His wife's punishment was not about provision, but instead, it was concerning her relationship with her husband and her children. "...with pain you will give birth to children. [and] Your desire will be to rule over your husband, but he will rule over you."
Just as Adam had authority over the animals, as indicated by the fact that he named them, he then named his wife, showing that he had authority over her. He named her Eve because she was to be the mother of all the living. A fitting name since her main function was easy to identify.
Since man's authority was established at the dawn of time, before any other earthly institution, his authority is therefore established over all earthly institutions: within the home, church, and society, for all men to imitate.
Concerning the Home
Ephesians 5: 22-33
"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Verse continued from above.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a glorious church, without stain or wrinkle or any such blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Indeed, no one ever hated his own body, but he nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.
Verse continued from above.
For we are members of His body. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is profound, but I am speaking about Christ and the church [the Bride of Christ]. Nevertheless, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
1 Peter 3:1-6
"Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
Verse continued from above
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."
Colossians 3:18,19 tells us:
“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
1 Peter 3:7
"Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."
Concerning the Church
1 Corinthians 11:3 tells us:
“But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of every woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”
It has always been the men who held the leadership role in the Church, in both the Old and New Testaments.
Look to Abel, Noah, Abraham, Job, and Aaron as those who would perform sacrifices.
All men, no women.
Once the Levitical priesthood was established, only men were allowed to be priests.
In the New Testament, Jesus had many followers, including women, but only men were chosen to be the apostles, and to lead His Church.
In fact, according to the Apostle Paul, women were to keep a sign of submission upon their heads with a natural head covering (their long hair) and a cloth head covering on top of their hair, when in public worship.
1 Corinthians 11:2 - 16
"I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the traditions just as I passed them on to you. But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. But every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is the same as having her head shaved. For if a woman does not cover her head, she might as well have her hair cut off; but if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head. A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man.
Verse continued from above.
For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. It is for this reason that a woman ought to have authority over her own head, because of the angels. Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God. Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering. If anyone wants to be contentious about this, we have no other practice—nor do the churches of God."
This has been the understood and accepted practice among Christian women and men since the time of Christ. Many of our early church fathers discussed this in their writings, including Tertullian of Carthage, Clement of Alexandria, Hippolytus of Rome, John Chrysostom, Augustine of Hippo, and many others. It was not until the Feminist movement (less than a hundred years ago) that women have felt "liberated" from this practice.
But even today, many God-fearing Christan women from all around the world, continue to practice this command.
Ask yourself:
What is it about a simple cloth upon the head that makes it so difficult for some Christian women to wear? What is it about a simple cloth upon the head that angers so many self-proclaimed God hating feminists?
Probably the same reason why many women are angered by certain Bible passages.
1 Corinthians 14:33-35
“For God is not a God of disorder but of peace. As in all the congregations of the saints, women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.”
Concerning Society
Throughout the entire Bible we see very little evidence of women participating in public life whatsoever.
Society was patriarchal. Men were in leadership positions and therefore had the responsibility to provide for and protect their wives and children, while women were to care for their husbands, children, and homes.
It was men who were chosen to lead Israel as their Kings and Judges. Deborah is the only female Judge of Israel. But if you read closely, Barak was the one that God called to lead His army into battle. It was only because of Barak's weakness that he went to Deborah, wanting her to go with him. She even warned him that if she did go with him, the glory would go to a woman --- disgracing him.
The only two ruling queens of Israel were Queen Athelia and Queen Jezebel, both of whom were wicked and should not be used as examples to imitate.
Even Queen Esther is not an example of a ruling Queen, as the queens of Persia were simply wives to their kings and held no real power of their own. If the king wanted her gone - she would be gone, just as Esther's predessor Queen Vashti was easily let go.
Women were not ever to have authority over men.
Even the prophet Isaiah, living in rebellious times, just before the destruction of Judah, lamented the fact that women and children were ruling over God's people.
Isaiah 3:12. “Youths oppress my people; women rule over them. O my people, your guides lead you astray; they turn you from the path.”
Paul tells us in 1 Timothy 2:11-15
“A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. But women will be saved through childbearing-- if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.”
As leaders, men naturally have a responsibility to protect all those who are under their care. Even pagan cultures understood this fact.
Noone would have dreamed of sending women to the battlefield, for they are smaller, weaker, slower, and less aggressive than men. Not to mention the fact, that someone needed to raise the next generation. For these reasons, no society has ever encouraged their women to participate in war (until modern times).
This was no different in Israel. Abraham was a warrior, as was Moses, Joshua, Caleb, Ehud, Gideon, Jephthah, Samson, Jonathan, Saul, David, (David's Mighty Men), Jehu, Hezekiah, and on and on and on.
Throughout the thousands of years of biblical history and the thousands upon thousands of protectors, there are no biblical examples of women in the army or women training for war.
This is because God commanded a sharp distinction to exist between the roles of men and women, even down to the clothes they wear and the tools / weapons they use.
Deuteronomy 22:5 “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are an abomination unto the LORD thy God.”
Even in the two instances where there were women who killed in times of war, neither woman was a soldier, and in both instances these killings were done using the tools of women, not the weapons of men.
In Judges 4:21, Jael killed Sisera by: inviting him into her tent, feeding him warm milk, encouraging him to rest by covering him with a blanket, and when he fell asleep she drove a tent peg through his head.
In 2 Samuel 11:21, a woman killed Abimelech by throwing a piece of a millstone over the wall. I do not think it a coincidence that both women used instruments that they were intimately familiar with, instruments from within their domestic sphere, for it was a woman’s responsibility to set up her families’ tent and it was also a woman’s responsibility to use a millstone to grind grain for her family. Neither woman used sword, axe, spear, knife, arrow, or any other weapon of war, implying that they were not trained in the weapons of war and that they took Deuteronomy 22:5 seriously.
And if there was any doubt that women were to stay at home with their children, and not fight in these wars, God even commanded them to do so.
Joshua 1:14 “Your wives, your little ones, and your livestock shall remain in the land which Moses gave you on this side of the Jordan. But you shall pass before your brethren armed, all your mighty men of valor, and help them, until the Lord has given your brethren rest…”
Not only were men expected to be their nation's protectors, but they were also expected to earn a living for their families. If a man didn't work, he was expected not to eat.
If he didn't provide for his family, he was considered worse than an unbeliever because he should have known better.
Psalm 104:23 “Man goes out to his work and to his labor until the evening.”
1 Thessalonians 4:10-12
“We urge you, brothers…Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.”
We simply do not find women in the Bible, holding occupations as we understand the term today. In fact, the book All the Trades and Occupations of the Bible by Lockyer, had 266 pages describing all the various male occupations of the Bible, and at the same time only 27 pages describing female occupations.
Within those 27 pages of female occupations, not only did Lockyer include witches and prostitutes (neither of which were permissible in Israel, under God's Law), but he also included those unpaid tasks or hobbies that were performed by homemakers, because if he did not do this, he would have had almost no occupations for woman at all. Some of those activities were:
Cooking, baking, spinning wool, embroidery, dress-making, gleaning, grain grinding, water carrying, dancing, and music making. All of which were simply tasks or hobbies of a homemaker. These were tasks that women would perform from their homes and for their homes, as they cared for their husbands and raised their children. Certainly, not occupations as we understand the term today.
The nearest activity that resembles that of an "occupation" is that of a maidservant or slave, and in fact, some bible translations do translate the words servant and maidservant as employee. The Israelites would acquire these slaves, usually by conquest or indebtedness, but Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:21, that if a slave can gain his (or her) freedom, they should do so.
"Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so."
Whatever the case, a maidservant was not a position to be sought after or to take pride in. If a woman (or family) today finds herself in such a financial predicament that she considers herself to be a "servant" through her employment, she must still remember that she is not to have authority over the men that she may be working alongside. Her situation would be an extenuating circumstance and the goal would be to acquire her freedom as soon as possible by terminating her employment.
The Proverbs 31 woman is often held up as an entrepreneurial
career woman, because she sold some things and bought a field, but when we read the chapter closely, we find that she was working from her home and for her family. She was home-centered. Let's take a look at what her life looked like.
She gets up early and stays up late working hard from her home. She spins wool, makes garments, makes bed sheets, sells her surplus to merchants, does the grocery shopping, prepares the meals, plants a garden, supports her husband in his public endeavors, all the while raising their children with Biblical wisdom, keeping an eye on the affairs of her own household. If she sees a good financial opportunity (like buying a field), she takes it, knowing that her husband has full confidence in her. Not a real-estate agent, as some have suggested.
Titus 2:3-5
“[Teach] the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things—that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”
1 Timothy 5:9,10 “No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the saints, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds.”
1 Timothy 5:14 “Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”
Women find their natural calling and vocation through the care of husbands, children, and homes.
And this vocation is obviously not just intended for widowed women only, but for women in general, for these widows had already fulfilled their calling with their first husbands. They are now being advised to seek new husbands if they burn with passion.
All of scripture makes clear that the lives of women were focused and centered around getting married, having children, and raising those children within their homes. Only the foolish would strive for something less.
Proverbs 14:1 “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her own hands.”
Her: But I want my Independence!
Him: I like having the extra cash!
For many people, this lifestyle is going to sound restrictive, and it is, to a certain extent. Noone likes to be told that they should be doing something or that they have certain responsibilities that they should be fulfilling. But God made these laws for our benefit. They are not burdensome when you understand the bigger picture. We should love His laws, knowing that He only wants the best for us. Here are just some of the joys that you and your family will experience when you submit to God's law.
It is very difficult to juggle work and family, some would even say impossible.
By staying at home, a woman will have less commitments. Less people pulling her in different directions with all the many responsibilities that arise at work.
She will have less stress and be happier.
Her family won't have to compete around two "work" schedules.
She will have more freedom to do what needs to get done in the timeframe of her choosing.
She will have more time for daily Bible readings and devotions.
Aside from the joy of salvation, there is nothing that makes a man happier than coming home to find his wife and children greeting him at the door with their smiling faces.
All the accumulated stress from the day is quickly dissolved as he spends more time at home with his favorite people. This builds for strong marriages.
The sin and temptation of adultery decreases drastically.
Most cases of adultery come out of the workplace, where men and women interact with one another, on a regular basis, forming relationships only worthy of a scarlet letter.
By staying at home, a wife will be a helpmeet to her husband instead of a helpmeet to her boss or coworker. She will be building her house instead of building the house of another man.
When women stay home, they can dedicate their time and energy to their family and will likely have more children and all the fun and joy that children bring when raised properly.
She will be able to see her children far more than a few hours a day, building much stronger relationships with them.
As an added bonus, she will also save money on expensive daycare costs, school costs (if she homeschools), work wardrobe, eating out, gasoline on a second vehicle, and house cleaners.
She will be there for all those precious moments, watching her children grow up and trying new things, while they explore the world for the first time.
She will be there for their first steps, hear and know the difference between their cries, see their funny faces when they bite on a lemon slice, and a thousand other precious moments.
God gives us these children - let us enjoy them, we will never get this time back.
Many people feel as if it is the school's responsibility to raise our children, but this is not what the Bible says, nor is it even possible.
To raise a child is to correct and instruct the child in the thousands of opportunities that arise throughout the day, teaching them how to be kind, how to share, and how to behave. Even the most dedicated teacher could never achieve this.
By staying home, a mother will be able to raise her own children.
She will have much more time with her children (especially if she homeschools).
This builds stronger relationships and memories with her children. Bonds that will last beyond a lifetime.
The children will always remember the times they spent with their mom and how much she cared for them.
Throughout the day, she will get done whatever needs to get done so that the home is clean, tidy, and well stocked.
Getting these things done while her husband is away, so that everyone can have a joyful and relaxing afternoon.
Instead of eating fast food she can make sure her family has healthy and tasty home-cooked meals every day.
She could even grow the produce in her own back yard or raise her own meats.
With the house clean and food prepared, there will be less stress and arguments at home. Her relationship with her husband will grow.
He will notice all the many details that she adds to their house to make it a home and he will appreciate her more.
She will have more time to develop her favorite hobbies: painting, playing music, knitting, dance, or whatever they might be.
She will be available if her neighbor needs an emergency babysitter, or someone to pick up her children from school because her husband had a flat tire.
She will be home when a troubled friend calls because she needs to talk about the death of a loved one or some other struggle she is facing.
True meaningful friendships will grow simply because she was there during a time of need.
She would be able to volunteer her time helping the local Christian Choir, or a neighbor move into a new house, or an emergency phone hotline, or a community / church potluck.
Imagine if we had an entire church of woman who stayed home and were able to volunteer their time to various functions, and what that would say to the larger community about us.
She will have more time to spend with her aging parents before they pass away. She may even be able to keep them out of the nursing home by bringing them into her own home. This is almost impossible to do when the mother works outside the home.
Imagine the memories that might be shared or the stories that might be told that she may never have known if she was working and didn't visit her parents. Again, she will not get this time back.
When her children are grown and have homes of their own, she would be able to visit them and help them with their children, being an involved grandma.
These and countless other blessings are here, just waiting for families to realize what they are missing when women work outside the home.
Let us encourage one another to live the lives that God has commanded for us. Such lives are far more meaningful than some extra cash in the bank account.