Dating / Courting
When a person thinks of romance and courtship, they usually have in mind some Hollywood movie...
Where two young souls meet, have some funny mishaps, fall in love, and get married by the end of the show.
Usually, there is some sort of forbidden love, or one of them is from the wrong side of the tracks.
Oftentimes there will be some sort of tragedy thrown into the story to make the romance all the more magical.
One thing is for sure, there will be plenty of fornication.
Are these movies good examples of romance for our children to follow (or watch)?
The whole idea of modern dating has very serious problems. Children are encouraged, at very young ages, from television and their friends to participate in the dating scene.
Peer pressure encourages these kids to move along the bases, as if they were playing some sort of ballgame.
This game only intensifies as the kids get older when their natural urges and hormones kick in.
(Many people even play games to steal the virginity away from others, or simply to sleep with as many people as possible.)
Eventually, after many break-up-makeup sessions, (and much sexual activity) these young couples will call it quits, and leave one or both individuals emotionally wounded, having given gifts away that they cannot get back.
To avoid such situations, we encourage everyone to read their bibles, keep good company, and seek Godly council.
First off, our children should not be dating until they are mature enough for marriage, as that is the goal of dating.
Some people have never grown up because they were never raised. They live life for themselves only wanting to have fun.
Such individuals should not marry until they become responsible God-fearing adults.
Young teenagers should not be dating at all, it is just asking for trouble. Not only are they not ready for marriage but it drastically increases temptation.
Why do you think there are so many unexpected pregnancies and teenage abortions?
Also, our children need to understand the biblical roles of men and women, if they do not, there will be much strife and arguments in their marriage, as there will always be a confusion of authority.
Young men should not marry until they are able to lead, provide for, and protect a wife.
Young women should not marry until they know how to care for a husband, children, and home.
They should not even consider marrying someone outside the Christian faith, and they should be incredibly careful to marry anyone outside their Christian denomination.
Deuteronomy 7:3,4
"Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, for they will turn your children away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord's anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you."
What is courting?
Courting is different from dating. Courtship is a purposeful attempt to find a future spouse with the help and guidance of your parents and church, while staying away from temptations and keeping yourself pure, both heart and body, for your future spouse.
Are there rules for courting?
How does the process work?
When a young man nears the age of marriage, he, his parents, and his church should keep an eye out for an available woman who would be a good match.
The young man would then speak with the woman's father and ask him if he would be willing to let him court his daughter.
If the father says yes, they will decide upon a date and time for the gentleman to come over to the family's home while the parents are present.
While courting, the courtiers are never left alone, until the engagement. Until then, the time the couple spends together will be with their parents or siblings. This keeps sexual abstinence much easier.
During courtship, there is no flirting, touching, kissing, romance, pledges of love, or promises made, until the engagement.
It is simply a time meant for getting to know one another without getting emotionally involved.
Acceptable gathering places may include: religious services, church picnics, musical concerts, movies, plays, outdoor events, or family dinners.
If the young man desires to marry the young lady, he may have a discussion with her father, and ask for her hand in marriage.
If the father says yes, the young man is free to ask the lady for her hand, and the engagement begins.
The engagement is marriage in God's eyes. Just as Joseph was considered married to Mary during their engagement.
It is at this time that he can now take her out on "dates" alone, still keeping themselves sexually pure for their wedding night.
It is during the engagement that they get to know each other more personally. The promise of marriage has already been made. The relationship has now taken a romantic turn.
Here is when he gives her a foretaste of how he will treat her, by bringing her flowers, picking her up in his car, opening her doors, taking her out to dinner, pulling out her chair, paying for her meals and entertainment.
It is during this time that the wedding is planned, and the man gets all his ducks in a row, finishing whatever needs to get done before he gets married. He will soon be taking responsibility for this young woman.
The wedding should be held in a church as it is a reminder that marriage was instituted by God and that their marriage vows are truly a covenant between God and man / woman.
These vows are lifelong, and divorce is never an option unless there is adultery or physical abandonment (he or she has physically left their spouse and is no longer willing to stay with them).
With the marriage completed, bride and groom become one.
A beautiful prophetic picture of Christ and His Church.